At work, I worked hard. Really hard. I had to get everything right. I had to be perfect to be safe. Somehow I thought that by excelling in every way, I could avoid all criticism, and suggestions… because suggestions seemed like criticisms too.
Only accolades, please.
But, as much as I did, as much as I tried, it didn’t always work that way.
I often ended up feeling like I’d been stapled to the wall:
Never mind that others saw me as completely together, totally competent – that’s not how it felt for me. So, what did I do? Worked HARDER, pushed more, and, eventually, got frustrated, got angry. And blamed… Then I was the Reptile.
It’s quite humbling to realize what I’m willing to do in order to stay “safe.”
